Managing Finances with Adult Children at Home: A Modern Family Approach

Modern Family Finances: Adult Kids at Home

(Mother)

I see our family as a very modern family—with our children living at home with us—mainly because so many young people are graduating with enormous amounts of college loans.

My son is a junior—he’s just finishing his junior year. But my daughter graduated last year. And private college is $50,000–$55,000 a year. But we knew that, once she graduated, we needed to help her to get on her feet.

We were very blessed for her to find a job with my company. So that situation was: “You stay here with us, you pay off your loans, and don’t worry about anything else.” 

For the future, what are we going to do? You know, what are our finances going to look like? How long are they staying? It would be nice if they stayed for a while. On the other hand, how quickly are they packing to go?

Can we retire in 10 years, or 15 years? My husband wants to work until he’s 90, but I’d like to retire early. But can we do that?

(Father)

We’ve decided to look at moving, to a location, to a different location, an out-of-state location, because of several factors, such as the cost of living, taxes and those type of, I guess, lifestyle factors—a less stressful lifestyle. 

(Mother)

Leaving the home that we’ve lived in for 24 years is a very emotional situation. But, again, we are making decisions to financially put ourselves in a better place for retirement. That’s where we are at this point. 

I don’t know that we’ve decided that we’re setting a limitation. I think with my daughter—she’s eager to get out on her own. With my son, I think we probably have to have more of a hard line, not because we want him to go, but I think it would be better for him to be on his own to learn that independence.

If I could give one piece of advice to families that have their adult children living home with them, it’s keep a dialogue open and help them to have a plan. You know, direct them and show them some of the mistakes that you’ve made, because you learn from your mistakes, not always from your successes. But your mistakes teach you a lot more sometimes.